I’m Officially Homeless

As of Sunday 20th January, I no longer live in my old home, with my family or in my old life. I left home having no idea what was going to happen to me, where I was going or where I might spend the night; but that was preferable to knowing that what would happen to me if I stayed was more abuse.

I thought I may have to sleep rough for at least the first night as I had no idea if there was an emergency service for this kind of thing. I’m a 44 year old woman, and, although I’m strong in many ways, as a white westerner, I’m also soft and pampered in many and wouldn’t know the first thing about the practicalities of, how to DO sleeping rough but, knowing me, I would have kipped in the forest with all the non-human animals for company rather than in an urban area surrounded by my own kind.

blergh…..I miss my cat so much it feels like my heart has been ripped out and can’t stop sobbing about him. He always misses me too when I’m away.

My first thought on my new state is that it’s an expensive business being homeless.

As I became homeless on a Sunday, I spent my first night in emergency accommodation, a tiny hotel room for which I was extremely grateful. I live in a small town and was also extremely fortunate that there was a shop open at all. It was a pound shop, as it turns out, which sold toothpaste (2 years out of date, I later discovered) and some edible stuff – biscuits, crisps and such. I couldn’t eat but I need my tea, so was able to buy teabags and sugar, in large, normal-situation amounts. I also had to buy a cup….but, had I needed a meal I would have had to buy food at a fast-food place, not cheap and definitely not healthy.

If I can, I may use my blog to describe the experience of being made homeless at my age and with my phobias. It may be of help to someone else in this position. I’m struggling to cope though. It’s an emotional roller-coaster being free of an abusive environment but being thrust into a situation in which my phobias are being stretched to their limit.

blergh……